As for seeing Newark, anything looks peaceful from 7 miles away through a roof-mounted telescope. And the only time I’m actually there anymore, I’m drunk. So it works out pretty well.

Due diligence – yes! People “fall” for the wrong reasons. It takes quite a bit of self-awareness, honesty and integrity to know what your priorities are when seeking a mate and stick with it.

A bit of a bleak outlook, but I expect nothing less from my Tri-State compatriots. Seeing Newark outside one’s window is bound to bring the mortuary into the mind’s eye.

Most emotionally vulnerable people (isn’t that everyone?) can’t sustain non-traditional models of commitment (open relationships, et al.) without some degree of emotional distress, given that one of the two parties will always “get more” and jealousy will follow as sure as night after day. This isn’t to say that the arrangement is illegitimate, but rather it recognizes the emotional frailties of people, who in general bring at least some “baggage” to any relationship in the way of self-esteem deficiencies, or a helpless, nagging sense of lost opportunity in the past.

Old fashioned barrel-chair-and-green-appliance as it sounds, I adhere to the absolutist, admittedly-naive-but-nonetheless-seductive belief that commitment is total devotion, the recognition of mutual benefit despite a tacit admission that each party might not always offer everything the other wants, all the time. As complicated and multifaceted as people are intellectually and emotionally, it’s quixotic to think that everything will “match up” perfectly all the time. But emotions are irrational – when people “fall in love” (oh god here we go!), they tend to suspend rationality and give themselves over 100%. This often traps them in unsatisfying relationships if due diligence has been flimsy, and as such the commitment to commitment itself becomes a prison cell of lost identity, a graveyard for personal aspirations. But for people who “make it work,” there is the ultimate comfort of knowing, despite suffering through the whims of a cruel and indifferent cosmos (job loss, family problems, etc.), they will always be there for each other.

Leesean, have you retched on your keyboard yet?

Thank you for the mention dear!